what’s the worst that could happen?
Brian Tracey was quoted saying, “Fear and self-doubt have always been the greatest enemies of human potential.” I don’t see it that way. I mean I understand what the quote is saying but I like to think of it in a different way. An enemy is someone we want to avoid like the plague. I see fear and self-doubt as roots. Remember those roots we spoke about that can grow into tall trees with never ending branches? When we have fear and self-doubt, the last thing we should do is ignore it and push forward. This is just my opinion so don’t take it as me saying this is by the book, law. The first thing that should happen is acknowledgment. Acknowledge the feelings of that fear and that self-doubt. Quietly sit with it. Unfortunately, we don’t always get to the root on the first try but that doesn’t mean we don’t start digging.
As I sit and think about these feelings, a big question I personally like to ask myself is what could happen. That is where I usually start my digging.
Let’s use an imaginary scenario as an example. Let’s say there is a girl named Lola who is really good at dancing and has been dancing her whole life. When she was younger, she messed up and forgot her dance at a finals competition which caused her to place on the lower end and the other girls made fun of her for it. Now, let’s fast forward to her senior year of high school. She was offered an opportunity to enter an invitation only dance competition where the top three winners receive a monetary value of some sort for college. Lola declines the invitation even though this is something that has always been a dream of hers. She doesn’t just have fear and self-doubt out of nowhere, right? There is this deep root from a competition many years ago that has had so much time to grow into a well established tree that has held Lola back countless of times because she doesn’t want to mess up in front of a crowd again. Because of this incident there could also be branches on this tree like jealousy of girls who are still competing and doing what she has dreamed of doing. She doesn’t have a personal enemy in those girls, she just has a root issue that has caused a lot of feelings like this to grow and brew inside.
If Lola were to sit with this tree and start digging, I would hope that the first question she asks herself is what is she afraid of happening? Why? Then, eventually, the digging would lead back to this incident many years ago that was not dealt with head on. Then, she could ask herself, what is the best thing that could happen if she accepted? She would have the chance of winning money for college. After, ask what is the worst thing that could happen? She could mess up again and not win, which could happen to anybody. She could show up, not win anything, but she would be able to say she tried and she experienced it. She doesn’t leave with less money than she came there with. She doesn’t lose the chance to apply for her dream college. If she doesn’t try at all though, she doesn’t have the chance to win either. All because of this deep root that happened in the past. If the worst thing that could happen is she doesn’t win the money… why not still try? Why allow this root to keep blocking you from experiencing life. Then what? You grow to your elder years and look back at everything you missed wondering ‘what if’?
I have realized I don’t want to grow up and look back and wish I would have at least tried just to see what happens. I want to take the opportunity in the moment and give it everything I have because I don’t walk away with less if it doesn’t work out and I could potentially gain so much.
Let’s look within at behaviors. What are some branches you notice ? Do you see any jealousy, greediness, habits, addictions, outbursts, or negative mood episodes? Now, let’s start digging. When do these behaviors show themselves? Are they in response to a certain environment, event, tangible thing, or a person? Is there an incident that you could look back on that might correlate?
okay, love you guys byeeeee.
